HSF CfP reactions

From: “Valdis’ Mustache”
Date: Wed 15 Apr 2009 13:46:27 GMT+07:00
To: full-disclosure List
Subject: Re: [Full-disclosure] Hacker Space Fest 2009 CFP: Call For Paper

Mr. Bean:

Initially I shared your concerns, and I bristled at the recent
explosion of nascent self-proclaimed houses of hackerdom across the
North American continent and Europe.

Like you, I was not amused by the brazen audacity and foolishness
of hundreds of low-rent apartments, grandmother’s basements, and
shuttered Oldsmobile dealerships speciously presenting themselves
as dens of underground activity, providing opportune one-stop
surveillance points for various government entities. [1]

The more I wrapped my hairs around the problem, it seemed (at first
blush) to be a conspiracy on par with COINTELPRO and Bremer’s lost
B-52′s full of stacked hundreds! As luck would have it, though, the
two of us were quite magnificently wrong in this notion! Actual
hacking of any sort does not take place in these ostensible
hackerspaces! [2]

Rather, it appears that young men (and even, it would seem, nubile
young women) band together in these “spaces” in a spirit of
bonhomie to work on shared endeavours like constructing sandwich-
making robots, soldering (and its ever-present cousin desoldering),
and the fabrication of hundreds of contraptions known as “LED
throwies” [3], the latter of which are evidently useful as props
during dance routines at electronic music events, in which the
throwies are attached to extremely ill-fitting “phat” (sic.) pants.

For an example of some of these behaviors, see the following
informational hyperlinks.

[*] http://www.thetakeaway.org/stories/2009/apr/14/hackers-play-around-next-generations-technology/
[*] http://beta.sling.com/video/show/98967/43/Hak5—Build-a-web-enabled-Linux-ba
[*] http://www.flickr.com/photos/buriednexttoyou/3294011464/

As the above should make abundantly clear, the only rational and
equitable conslusion this mustache can make is that the
“hackerspaces” movement is an elaborately staged campaign of
culture jamming by the authentic computer underground, aimed at
throwing Law Enforcement and media off the scent of true illicit
computer activity, and a terribly clever one at that!

Bravo “Hackerspaces”, I say! Bravo!

Your Humble Servant,
Ang bigote ng Valdis

[1] I couldn’t help but notice this link: http://barkingmadly.blogspot.com/2006/09/travis-biehn-wins-on-appeal.html,
which quite plausibly may contribute to your feelings
wrt. to Law Enforcement.

[2] For our purposes, “hacking” is defined as any activity not
performed by Bre Pettis.

[3] http://www.instructables.com/id/LED-Throwies/

[4] Dancing while clad in LED throwies is apparently useful in
signaling potential mates to one’s mechanical aptitude.

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